I don't heart stupid people.
It really bothers me when people ask me stupid, obvious questions.
I was in the grocery store the other night, driven by an urgent need to make albondigas (meatballs in soup) at ten o'clock. I was comparing chicken stock, when someone I haven't seen in a while came up behind me and said, "Hey, Andria! What are you doing?"
I just looked at her and said, "I'm doing work on my car. What does it look like I'm doing? I'M GROCERY SHOPPING. THAT'S WHY I'M IN THE GROCERY STORE." She looked at me like I just killed her puppy and ate it right in front of her. I realize that sometimes I can be a little sarcastic, but I don't think it should surprise her, since she's known me for 10+ years. And it's a stupid question.
The plus side to hanging out at Ralphs at ten on a Saturday night (I know, isn't my life AWESOME?), is that you get to see all the freaks and weirdos. Like this chick:
Notice the street-walker ensemble, and the fact that she's buying like, 30 Lunchables. I can't imagine why anyone would want to feed their poor child so much processed meat and cheese, but that's all she bought. Who knows... maybe she hands them out as door prizes to her johns.
"How did you like your handjob? Here! Have a turkey and ham Lunchable!"
Another stupid question that drives me absolutely crazy gets asked at work.
I read on my lunch break every day. I usually hold my book up, in front of me, and read while I eat. I would think that most people who have an ounce of common sense and/or decency can see that by the fact that I have my face stuck in a book, I don't want to chat. But that never stops some dipshit from saying, "What are you reading?" And then when I tell them (because seeing the words on the cover evidently isn't a good enough clue), they always ask "Well, is it any good?" And then they commense to talk to me about the stupid book for a half hour, which has wasted my reading and (and much more importantly) eating time.
Strangely enough, really the only person who doesn't harrass me about what I'm reading is Celestia. But that's probably because she's nearly illiterate, and thinks books are "so long and boring." I just re-read To Kill A Mockingbird for the hundredth time, and I was talking to HR Boss (one of the frequent "What are you reading" offenders) about it, and how I have read it so many times since high school, and how I love it. Celestia chimed in from her desk that she couldn't even imagine reading a book once, let alone a hundred times. She'd much rather watch her favorite movie over and over, "because you can see it and it's over faster."
By the way, her favorite movie of all time is "Final Destination," if that gives you any indication of her level of sophistication (calm down, FD fans. I'm not saying you're a moron if you like it, but if you're 32 and it's your favorite movie EVER, well... nevermind).
Speaking of movies that suck, I watched that Jennifer Aniston movie, "Rumor Has It," where her family's supposed to be the basis of "The Graduate."
Um, what a piece of crap. This movie was a giant turd, and I swear to god, Kevin Costner looks 20 years older than he did in "The Upside of Anger"(a movie that is NOT a turd), which was released like, two years ago. He's on the Robert Redford train to geezerville, I think.
My heart is broken today because I read that my hunky, tall, hilarious Vince Vaughn proposed to her. Dammit.
I also watched "Failure To Launch," and, well... I have a confession to make.
I liked it (mostly). Even though it had Sarah Jessica Horseface, who I really can't stand, I CAN stand Matthew McConnaughey, because he is all kinds of hot. Plus I like Zooey Deschanel, too.
DMX yelled at Kay and I, and said it was totally predictable. But, hello - it's a romantic comedy. All romantic comedies are predictable.
If they weren't, they'd be depressing and called "Leaving Las Vegas" or "Sid and Nancy."
Fuck me. Someone just walked by my desk and asked me, "Is it hot enough for ya?"
No dumbass. I'd like my skin to set on fire when I walk outside. It's just not fucking hot enough.
Jesus.
